“For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died
for the ungodly.”—Romans 5:6 (ESV)
Are you ugly?
Have you heard of the word flawesome?
I bet you are reading the word
for the first time, but a flawesome individual is one ‘who embraces their flaws
and knows they are awesome regardless’.
To be flawesome is to dig deep
to generate love for something that is unloveable. Such people will love their
ugly finger nails because they have convinced themselves that the nails are not
In other words, this is trying
to find the reason for love in the object of love itself. Let me explain: the
flawesome loves because the other person is loveable, better still they try to
make them loveable.
Locating the reason for love in
the object of love itself is what ruins our relationships. It’s no surprise that
our relationships are shoddy. If you asked two lovebirds why they love each other,
you will hear them scoop out their lover’s attributes as if they are filling an
ice cream cone.
This may sound good but therein
rests the tragedy. What if you woke up one morning and those attributes have
vanished from the person you say you love, will you still love them? You won’t.
And don’t try to say that you will try because we all know you won’t.
The lovelessness, mockery,
hate, and chaos that happen under the sun are because we try to find a reason
to love people in the very people we are trying to love. In the end, when we
have found none, the whining sets in.
St Paul wrote in Romans 5:6
that while we were powerless, Christ died for us. But he did more than that, he
also told us why Christ had to die our death. It’s obvious that the reason has
nothing to do with us, because he quickly bursts our bubble before we even claim
the bragging rights: we were powerless.
In the same chapter, the eighth
verse he writes: “but God shows his love
for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Paul locates
Jesus’ reason for loving and dying for us in Jesus Himself: “…but God shows his love for us in that...”
If Christ was to look for a reason in us to come down here and save us, there
would be no salvation.
If we are to genuinely love
people, we will need a shift in paradigm. We will have to stop looking for a
reason in the people we should love, but above all, all fixing people in order
to produce in them the robots that we will love should be thrown out of the window
once and for all.
The reason we love people is
outside of them and outside of us as well. St John writes: “We love because he first
loved us” (1 John 4:19, ESV). It is love that begets love; reasons don’t
You are loved by God, make that
your singular focus and it will produce in you a love so fierce, hopeless,
reckless and illogical; a love that will leave the world dumb-struck and
standing on its head.